Blister

Sunday morning I woke up refreshed from falling asleep sober at 12:30am on a Saturday (wouldn’t reccomend). The day looked beautiful, and I put on some shorts and a sleeveless tee and drove over to Ste. Honore Bakery, where I had arranged to meet my friend Ned Nickerson and her boyfriend, Nancy Drew. Ste. Honore has my favorite croissant in Portland (please let me know if there’s one better somewhere else). After coffee and pastries, we went over to Forest Park, and walked through the trees for a couple of hours. It was lovely and beautiful, I love their company and they seem to draw out my best self.

I had made plans to go see the Italian fashion exhibit at the Portland Art Museum with Luke Skywalker, but that fell through, and we ended up just patio drinking for the afternoon. I went home, did a bunch of housework, then fell asleep.

Portlandia

L'eggo moi LEGO
A drawing I made of myself at work for a LEGO math program I’m going to be running.

Tonight I feel like I can finally exhale and start going back to normal again. My lovely sister and lovely cousin have been visiting for the last couple of weeks, and today was the last day for my last visitor and I finally feel free from questions like, “Am I selfish for wanting to take a nap right now?” and “Are they having fun?” and “Should we go out to eat again tonight?” It was a good visit, I was happy to have them, but now I can pick up the pieces, get myself back in order, and recover from what feels like three months worth of eating out and going out for entertainment. I’m not going to fill in the gap, but there are two really nice memories that I want to preserve and treasure:

A game of chess

Me and my seeester at a great Oregon Symphony concert last weekend.
Me and my seeester at a great Oregon Symphony concert last weekend.

I had a lot of fun with my sister: talking, visiting, going to see music, drinking. The most fun thing we did all visit though was to go to a NW coffee house that has chess sets available. We played one game fairly quickly, being quiet ourselves because there was a very Nancy Meyers-ish first date going on next to us between a hilarious woman with a young kid and a freaked out, very chill guy. The second game, I asked for her coaching, and we played a wonderful, nearly three hour long game that was neck-and-neck the whole way. I take very little credit for my victory, but she’s such a private person that I don’t usually get a window into her actual cognitive processes very often.

Queer Portland

Cousin Remy with Jesus Christ
Cousin Remy with Jesus Christ

My second outstanding memory was split over two days spending it out and about with my cousin Remy and Jesus Christ. The first night, we ended up going to CC’s on a night when it was weirdly busy, and having a couple of those small town/gay circles are small moments of serendipity that made me seem cooler/more of a regular than I really am. The second day we spent walking up and down Mississippi after a perfect dim sum breakfast.

Wed-ness-day

I woke up and made my cousin breakfast. I got a chance to talk to Luke Skywalker for a little bit, we’ve both been busy. She gave me a little bit of shit for feeling like I hadn’t had my “quality time” with her, but then we had a classic conversation over IM later in the day so I’m calling that even. Made it in to work on timeish, sleptwalked through my day– the less said the better– and made it home to veg out and try and get back to normalcy. I had a whole bunch of things I wanted to talk about but I don’t even care anymore and I’m eager to try again tomorrow.

Quinoa

Thursday

Woke up, good breakfast, eating well. Emotional conversation. Worked, drove by old stomping grounds. Driving through old neighborhoods. Busywork manages to find me. Really good day. Paid bills, righted the ship. Connected to conversation earlier. Child that’s not eating breaks my heart. Numb yourself to the scale of suffering. What the fuck/cracking up. Cowboy school. Discipline. Helping a sista out. Home, quinoa. Restlessness. Coffee time. Kendrick. Soul. Conditioning. Drunken compliments.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday

My sister is visiting.

Ha

Friday

What’s in a day? At my best, each morning feels like the beginning sentence of a new novel. I haven’t been that present for a few weeks, though, and I’m struggling to remember my Friday morning. I know that it was pretty relaxed, but I couldn’t tell you what I did.

Work was no heavier or lighter a burden than usual. I watched the movie Earth To Echo with some kids that had earned that privilege as a treat. Ned Nickerson, an old coworker, came to volunteer for the day, and I decided to make plans with her for the evening.

After work, I rounded up my roommates and we decided to join Ned and one of her friends for pizza and drinks. We hit up Sizzle Pie and Rontom’s, and generally all had a good time with each other’s company. I had planned to go to the Academy for Inherent Vice, but I missed the showtime, but no matter. I liked Rontom’s a lot. I’m sure that one of the reasons that it’s popular is that it looks like what a “cool bar” should look like, but I’m trying to embrace the fact that I think that style matters, and just roll with it.

After drinks, I decided to get stoned and watch a movie. I got stuck in the awful anxiety of movie selection, but settled on Edge of Tomorrow. It was not as good as I remembered it, and this time through couldn’t see past the terrible writing, videogame cliche’d setpieces, and the wince-y (and very unsexy) sexual dynamic between Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt.

Saturday

During the day I had an Eliott Smith day. I woke up to an empty house, but got up pretty quickly. Having no computer makes the in-bed wakeup process go a lot faster. I went to my old neighborhood to get a haircut, then didn’t really have anything to do or any plans. I wanted to find someplace to get some coffee and read a little Moby Dick or journal. As I was headed into Southeast, I suddenly had to pee pretty urgently, so I stopped into the New Seasons on Division to take care of that. As I was headed out, I caught sight of the community response/customer feedback board and got transfixed for about 20 minutes reading the dialogue between the most anal customers ever and the cheery community manager that needs to tiptoe the line between down-to-earth realness and quirky Portland friendliness.

I realized that I was near Spielman’s Bagels, and I had just been talking about their lox with Hunter Thompson at Rontom’s the night before. I decided to just get lunch, and had the (very excellent) lox plate. As I was leaving, I overheard a conversation between a customer and two guys behind the counter talking about the use of simple language and silence in the works of Camus, which is one of the most Portlandy moments I’ve ever witnessed (though not participated in, due to sad lack of reading any Camus other than L’Etranger). I was walking to my car and ran into Hunter himself, so turned back around and got a coffee with him.

In the afternoon, I did some charliework and read a little bit, listened to some new music. I met up with Jesus Christ, and we played for a little bit, then got a drink at Scandals and went to his place to watch some American Horror Story. I was feeling a little out of it to be honest, probably a sign of the day ahead of me, and I went home feeling vaguely unsettled.

As I was falling asleep, I decided to start watching the movie Frances Ha. I had remembered some of the buzz about the movie when it came out, but something about it felt a little too real, maybe too raw, and I didn’t think I could handle it. Last night felt like the right time though, and it was a great instinct. The movie was perfect medicine to my spirit, yet unsettling enough that my heart was in my throat during scenes that felt too close to my life. One of the themes of the movie is Frances’ relationship with her best-friend/roommate, and the deep need that Frances has that is filled by her friend, and it made me think very hard (and I’m still thinking about it) about similar dynamics between me and my friends.

Sunday

On Sunday, I was anxious all day for no real reason. I feel like I wasted an opportunity to have a good day by being in my head the whole time, so I think I’m going to leave it at that.