era eras era

journaling is an incredibly aspirational practice for many people. the people that dominate online spaces about journaling are the same kind of hucksters that dominate any sort of practice where the principals are easy and the execution is hard. fitness. career planning. budgeting.
the easiest way to journal is to write, which is also the hardest way.
i’ve never felt particularly secure in my journaling habit, and yet each year I’ve filled more pages than last year and that’s been true for almost 16 years.
the last time i took a run at reimagining this space, i wrote:

At some point I lost faith in my voice, and I’m just now dreaming about finding it again. When I look at old posts on this blog, all I read are the qualifications on my thoughts, my uncertainty to voice opinions, my wordiness. I feel like my inner monologue is different these days, and I want my writerly self to reflect that difference.

the incredible thing is, that experiment kind of worked. almost nobody read the posts, i felt like i was stylizing myself in real time, and my transparency only destroyed one of my friendships. for about four solid months, i kept a radically transparent online journal.
that’s just fine
but growth has its own trajectory, and right now i am in the process of harvesting the fruits grown since that last post, and clearing space to plant something new.

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