Awake


Yesterday I was a little bit late getting started in the morning, but I kind of shook off some of my unhappiness fog and made some progress shuffling around stuff to make my use of space a little better.
When kids started arriving, I went to watch the teen room, which I’ve been doing for the last couple of weeks. We have two middle school girls coming right now, sisters, that are totally weird (which is not derogatory, that’s a huge positive for me) and super into anime and manga and colored hair and weird accessories. The younger one was worked up nearly to the point of tears because All The Shit Had Gone Down in whatever manga series she is reading. Both of them gushed about whatever boy was in it and looked vaguely like this
img-thingand I had some fun making fun of his Tragic Backstory and Soulful Eyes and Husky Voice and the fact that You’re The Only One That Ever Got To Know Him. I told them that anime was building up unrealistic expectations of boys in them, and that they still had to endure like six years of boys trying to express their affection by being jerks and farting.
The rest of the day was not hard, but pretty chaotic. We were down a couple of people.
After work, I stopped by the grocery store because I just couldn’t do prepared food. A couple of weeks ago I redid my budget, and realized exactly how much money I could keep in my pocket if I didn’t spend of prepared food and drink, so I’m trying to be better about it. While making dinner, I made myself a drink, and I guess the alcohol made it before the food did, because I ended up a little buzzed. I ended up playing the piano for a while, just improvising where my heart led me, with wild abandon and many smushy notes. By about 9:30, I felt exhausted and decided to just go to sleep. I started to watch The Interview, which was not so good, but there was some banter involving James Franco and his stinky dick that was so dumb and gross that it woke me back up for a few minutes.

I woke up again at about 1am. When this happens, I give myself about 20 minutes to fall back asleep, otherwise I have to get up and do something productive or I’ll end up watching TV and jerking off all night. I wasn’t going to fall asleep, so I got up, did some dishes, cleaned out the fridge, and decided to do a 3am Winco run. I’ve never had such a relaxing grocery shopping trip in my life. It was nearly empty, I could take my time and wander every aisle, stop and contemplate weird food items, listen to my podcasts, and not be in any kind of hurry or rush or hanger.
It did make me a little more tired this morning than I would like, but I’m sure some coffee will pick me up if I need it.


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